There are several ways that family legal issues can be resolved.  Those methods can be broadly broken down into the following five categories: 1) “Kitchen table” negotiation, 2) Mediation, 3) Collaborative approach, 4) Traditional negotiation, and 5) Litigation.

1) “Kitchen table” negotiation is a euphemism for the parties talking together without lawyers.  In many situations, the parties are able to work out a resolution on their own.

2) Mediation is one method of alternative dispute resolution.  Instead of litigating, parties can voluntarily agree to meet with a mediator.  The mediator is a neutral person whose sole role is to help the parties reach an agreement.  A mediator does not take sides.  A mediator does not have the authority to force any sort of agreement or terms upon either party.  With some narrow limitations, nothing said in mediation can later be used against either party.  Also, neither party can be prejudiced by failure to reach an agreement or failure to participate in mediation.  Mediation can be done without lawyers or with lawyers.  In some instances, parties will participate in mediation without their lawyers, and then have their lawyers review a tentative agreement if one is reached.

3) The Collaborative approach is another method of alternative dispute resolution.  It is relatively new, is in some ways similar to mediation, but is different from mediation in some important ways.  In the collaborative approach, each party is represented by a lawyer.  However, the parties sign a contract whereby each side promises to provide full disclosure of all relevant information, and they promise not to litigate while engaged in the collaborative approach.  It is very common in a collaborative situation for the parties to also use financial neutrals, child specialists, and communication coaches.  These additional professionals are able to use their particular expertise to help parties through what are often the most difficult issues.  Additionally, by having them involved early and avoiding duplication of effort, employing these professionals can result in significant savings to the family in many situations.

4) In traditional negotiation, each party is represented by a lawyer.  The parties communicate through their lawyers to see if an agreement can be reached.  Traditional negotiation often is done prior to litigation and during the build up to litigation.  Parties are always free to negotiate.

5) Litigation means putting the issues before an appropriate court for decision.  Sometimes people are unable to agree on issues and must put the decision-making power in the hands of a court.  Although often emotionally and financially difficult, litigation can be the only method available in some circumstances.

As you can see, there is a variety of approaches to resolving family law issues.  Each has its advantages and disadvantages.  In order to determine which best suits your family, you should consult with a lawyer.